I have been told on numerous occasions that I need to hand in my “Man Card”. I think it’s about time I did something about this.
So here it is my “Man Card”. I never knew I had received it. There was no ceremony or cigar smoking in celebration of becoming a man.
Was it when I was about 13 and discovered that I became aroused at the female form?
Was it when I turned 19 and went out to the bar and drank everything in sight? Ending my evening covered in my own vomit? Not likely- I was drinking “Electric Blue Long Island Iced Teas” with umbrellas and pineapples.
Was it when I got married at age 25 to my best friend and start a journey alongside her? Probably not since most people think that my wife has my balls in her purse now.
Perhaps it was the following year when I became a father for the first time. I doubt it though because I helped design and paint the nursery and constantly changed diapers.
Maybe it was when I turned 33 and became a railroader. Does this mean the women who work for the railroad are manly? But again, I received no fanfare.
Somehow my “Man Card” appeared in my wallet. All my male friends have requested it back. Please take it. It hasn’t done me any good. Being a sexist bigot isn’t really my thing anyways.
I prefer to be a caring soul who enjoys arts and crafts with my kids. Or a glass of wine on the deck watching the birds and squirrels play in my yard. Sometimes lending an ear to a friend who needs it instead of telling them to suck it up is more my style.
So please take my “Man Card” and stop asking for it.