Fricken’ Laserbeams

Today my wife received laser eye surgery to correct her vision. It means no more contact lenses or glasses needed on a regular basis. She will be able to see clearer. Finally.

First was a pre-check and discussion regarding the procedure about to take place. The doctor sounded like he had done this spiel a few thousand times. Very reassuring. He even let me in to watch the zotting of her eyeballs!

My wife was a pirate as the treatment was being set up. She didn't say "arrr" though. I was rather disappointed.

A crazy eye clamp was put on one eye and more drops into the eyes. It was a toned down version of that scene from A Clockwork Orange. Then a small metal ring placed on the eye and more drops. The doctor received time instructions from his assistant. At forty seconds, he used a cotton swab and peeled off what looked like a thin layer of skin. Like a super fine piece of onion. It was gross.

Even though I was really close to my wife as the operation took place, I enjoyed watching the monitor instead. It was an extreme close up as the laser multi-fired onto her eye. At 45 seconds it stopped.

A part of me was hoping the assistant would yell "FIRE THE LASER!" But that never happened.

My wife walked out without any issues.
She was scared to go in at first. I don't blame her. If she saw what they would do beforehand, she never would've done it. On the bright side, maybe she'll become a superhero with laser eyes. Only time will tell.

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