The Hump

There’s something about my bed that I really enjoy. It’s the hump.

I’m not talking about sex. I mean, that’s really good as well… (perhaps that could be another topic.) I’m talking about the spot right in the middle of the bed. Also know as the great divide.

Everyone who shares a bed with a partner knows of this mountain. With mattresses that have memory foam and springs- body divots become created. These are the comfort zones when you sleep together. On our king size bed, we have split box springs underneath. This emphasizes the barrier up top.

Usually before we fall asleep, one of us has to crest the mound and spoon the other one. I like being the little spoon. Mostly because it means my wife’s bum is aiming away from me. (She tends to fart when she wakes up). It also means I don’t have to try and figure out what to do with my gimpy arm that I lay on top of.

When I’m alone in the bed, I enjoy laying on the middle peak. I lay on my side which allows my gimpy arm to be used underneath my pillow.

It is possible that there is a king size mattress out there that prevents the middle hill? Probably. But until I can afford a new bed, I shall just remain the fool on the hill.

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