Cooling Off For Cheap!

Today was the last day of high school for my daughters. So when I picked them up we all went out to grab a cold slushie!

Today was a hot sunny day. Cooling off with a cold syrupy drink seemed like a great idea. Super sweet and a sugar crash to follow. I found a place that has 12 different flavors available, in any size for a buck! And the deal is all summer. I know what we will be doing a couple of times each week:

Summertime is fun time. It seems that my kids are happiest when relaxing with a treat. Freezies and slushies are always a tasty way to cool off.

I remember always walking to the corner store and buying penny candies and slushies all the time when I was a child. Memories of my childhood friends came flooding back today as I sipped on my ice cold syrup rainbow mix of flavors. Every one of them has grown up. Many have kids of their own. I wonder if they have memories of their childhoods that involve me? Maybe.

Stay cool my friends! And yes, I also buy “adult slushies” now.

Staycation

I am officially not going in to work until July 1st. Time to forget about *that* life for a while. These next eleven days are mine to do with as I please. This weather makes it all worthwhile.

During “my time” I am going to Build a door, dig a few holes, fix my bar fridge, drink some beers, write some blog stuff, and say “f*ck it” to caring about anything. Binge watching tv is also in the plan. Maybe some video games.

I’m on staycation Bee-otches!

Bug Off!

The heat is on- On the street.

Summer has hit us early it seems. With this sudden influx of heat comes MOSQUITOES! Everyone is getting eaten alive! Time to bring out the bug spray with a lovely scent that reminds me of toxic chemicals.

We also have a couple of more tools in our arsenal to keep us safe.

The bug zapper.

This is more for larger bugs. Not sure how effective this is. I just enjoy hearing a BZZZZTTTT when an insect dies as we sit outside for dinner. Because of this I had to buy another toy:

A bug zapper fly swatter.

This is hours of fun. Swishing around in the backyard like a tennis racket. Catching swarms of bugs in the electrical mesh. Pop! Fzzzt! And small lightning bolts as the bugs die. My children have fought over who gets to use it the most. (I’m secretly waiting for one of them to touch the metal part with their finger.)

All of these are an excellent way to deal with the bug situation. I still smack and kill the blood suckers when I notice them. But these bugs sometimes outsmart me. Take a few minutes ago for example: Tonight I smacked at my crotchular area to shoo away a mosquito. Turns out hitting oneself in the testicles adds more pain than the lingering itch of a bug bite.

I won’t be making that mistake again any time soon. From now on I’m going to drown myself in Off! No more self-dick-punches for this guy. I learned the hard way.

Rocking “The Dad Look”

Today I am going out into the world as a fashion model for fathers around the globe. I am showing off “The Dad Look” by just being me. Let us break this look down, shall we?

First note is of the entire ensemble. Light tones with a dark belt and the hair parted to the side. Use of hair spray recommended to keep this aspect of the look in place. Day old facial hair scruff and a slight gut says to the world, “It’s my weekend. Time to unwind standing by the barbecue or on the golf course.”

Let’s take an even closer look at the clothes and accessories that complete the perfect “Dad Look” for 2018:

Take note of the lovely diamond earrings. These symbolize the freedom of your lost youth and the yesteryears’ spending of money on oneself prior to having children. This was probably the last time you could Treat yo’ self without guilt setting in. It’s also good to note that Diamonds really are forever, since you’ve been wearing them regularly for at least a decade now. Their sparkle is fading as well since you don’t clean them as much as you once did.

Next we need to add a splash of cool while sticking to a budget.

For the perfect outfit, you need to hit up the local VV Boutique (aka Value Village Thrift Store). Purchase for yourself a brand new short sleeved, button up, baby blue and light yellow plaid shirt and a pair of linen pants (both with original store tags on) that were clearly donated with you in mind. This will keep a Dad looking unimposing and unattractive to all women while on the school grounds or park. Should another father appear, you will be easy to bond with them because they should be wearing a similar fashion.

What better way to accessorize the shirt and pants than with a pair of blue tinted sunglasses you got for free with a cheap bottle of vodka? Remember to keep them hanging off your breast pocket because those glasses sit crooked on your face- and it’s so much better to squint at the sun than have your head look lopsided.

To finish off the proper “Dad Look” of 2018, you need to show off your fun side. Here’s where you add the Mickey Mouse watch that you got from a previous trip to Disneyland with the family. All those fun memories come flooding back as you check the time throughout your day.

This is what it means to be a Dad- so you may as well rock the look all summer.

Of course later in the summer you will need to break out the cargo shorts and knock-off Birkenstock sandals (wearing optional white socks are permitted). So stay fashionable old man!

Have a great Father’s Day!

Sunshine = Beertime

It’s a beautiful day before Father’s Day in the Lower Mainland. After washing our cars, I decided to take a quick relaxation and a cold beer at the Dead Frog Brewery. For the past week friends and coworkers have been raving about the new location. It was time for me to check it out.

It’s clean and well laid out. I’m about to sample a couple beers. Not much else to say at the moment.

Short and sweet post today. Cheers everyone! Have a good weekend. Time flies when you enjoy life.

Ever Build a Door?

The back patio door of our theater room is in need of replacing. Unfortunately, it’s a 12 foot long sliding glass door from the 1970’s. They don’t generally make these anymore without a huge cost.

Before I began redoing the deck, the outside pane of the middle sliding door itself shattered. It happened to be from a pebble that got fired at it from my weed wacker. This was in 2011, the night the Canucks lost and the riots began (today is the anniversary of that day). I remember it clearly because we had been watching the game through the window while doing yard work. Plus riots aren’t cool.

In 2015, another panel blew out. This time on the inside. No one was in the room at the time. It just shattered. We could hear it throughout the house like a gunshot.

It’s taken me about 5 years now, but I have come to a conclusion about the glass door. We generally keep the blackout curtains drawn, and with our poor luck of the glass, it’s time to build my own door. Only no glass.

The door leading into the theater room from our foyer is a solid wood pocket door. It is rather heavy and made from tongue and groove wood that matches the ceiling inside the room.

I figure I could create 4 door panels like this that lock in place with decorative hinges to make it feel like a carriage barn door from the outside. That way I could open it in the summer and we could watch movies from our deck at night.

I have ten days off starting next week. We shall see how close I get done with this new project. I am hoping to enlist the help of my father-in-law who built the majority of this home. With his help and my knowledge from working the windows and doors section at Home Depot years ago, I hope to pull this off.

Sound Off

Today I was going through my iPhone and changing up some ringtones and sounds. Life is too dull with only having the default sound effects set up. I would like to say that I often change up my ringtones, but it’s more like once a year. Usually my phone is on silent/vibrate. But lately I’ve been wanting to hear it again.

I realized that the ringtones I have are from movies, video games, and some of my favorite songs. After years of using these themes, I still like to hear them. Pretty sure that subconsciously, when others hear my ringtones, it brings up feelings and memories. I know that a couple of weeks ago, when I was using the ringtone from “Episodes” it caught people’s attention. Mostly because it is a very irritating theme. Also, I was getting a lot of phone calls, so even I was getting irate.

I guess that this is what makes life a bit more interesting. Sound effects are everywhere. But we become so accustomed to them that they get filtered out. I sometimes add my own from my mouth just for fun. Nothing like singing a line from a song before answering the phone. “Who can it be now?” Or yelling out “Boom” as you hit enter on on email.

These are my current sounds. I love the Disney Turnstile beep. It’s one of those sounds that you hear in Disneyland all the time, but ignore.

I’m always on the hunt for new sounds/songs. What do you have set for your phone?

Sibling Fight Club

I’d love to say that my kids are angels. But that’s a lie. They can be well behaved and loving most of the time… towards my wife and I. To each other- that’s a whole other story.

It seems that they like to fight with one another. Majority of the time is when mom and dad aren’t around. It also happens to involve our son 99% of the time. He is the youngest and still thrives for attention- even if it is negative.

He’s getting a bit too mean lately. Which in turn means he gets in more trouble than his older sisters. I almost wonder if they provoke him a bit… nah, those girls are perfect angels.

Wahahaha

I lie. They are vicious as well.

I have yet to witness it, but I have heard rumors of fists flying from each of them. I remember having some good blowouts with my sister. This is just what happens as kids grow up. It’s normal.

Right?

Ugh.

Dad Duty

My wife is away for the next few days at a Summit for her work. That means I’m in charge of the household! It’s my job as a father- But I’m not called a babysitter!

Our kids know that they need to help out during this time. They are pretty good when we need them to step up. Our oldest will make dinner for the next couple of nights. While the other two help with chores and cleaning. I don’t think there will be much pushback or arguing from them. If there are any problems, we can keep it a secret from my wife…

My wife tried to keep her enthusiasm at getting away to a minimum. I could tell she was looking forward to a couple of days out of the house. Before she left, she tried to give me advice on how “she did things” in the mornings. It seems there is a routine that she wants me to follow. I figure that it’ll all be fine for when she returns home.

It’s rare for me to be a solo parent for days on end. In fact, I can’t really think of a time that this has occurred for more than 24 hours. This summer, I am planning on dragging the kids away for some R&R- most likely without my wife. A few days in a cabin on a lake. I’m looking forward to it.

As long as these next few days work out…

2 Out Of 3 Ain’t Bad

This past Saturday was a busy one for me. It didn’t look like it earlier in the week- my day was fairly open. Unfortunately, I tried to make plans with three different groups of friends.

Having to cancel a tentative plan is always tough. A part of me feels like I need to commit immediately when asked. But another part tries to find excuses to not commit. It’s also tough when I’m the original one trying to make the plans.

I was plotting and scheming to figure out how and when I could see my friends. I had to take into account the rides needed for my daughter and the fact that my wife was working all day.

In the end I could only meet up with two groups of friends. I had to cancel on one group. I felt a bit of guilt in doing so, but it just wasn’t meant to be. The other two groups did make me feel good. Maybe this upcoming Saturday I’ll have some more freedom and get together with the ones I missed.

Anyone want to make plans so we can cancel them at a later date?