Tonight I went for dinner with my wife. We went to Red Robin for a couple of burgers and bottomless fries. Always a nice treat, and a pleasantly fun date. We felt young and silly. I also ordered a bottomless root beer float to enjoy.

It was delicious! The best part- the ice cream and root beer was bottomless. So I had three of them! The worst part- I had three of them. Gurgle….

My gut was none too happy a few minutes after our meal. I began to feel bad for anyone who entered the bathroom after me. But then I realized, I’d probably be the one going back in first for my next round of explosions. Oh boy. My stomach emptied all available products through my back door. It felt like I was threading a needle with how tight my anus was holding on for dear life.

My self-induced enema made me realize that I have certain muscles that I don’t think about very often. Oh boy did I flex them. We cut our date short as we returned home early so I could cleanse from internally once more.

Note to self: no more ice cream as an adult. No matter what.