It’s only been one week into the New Year and already I’ve seen numerous people feeling down on themselves. It sucks to feel that way but I can totally understand it.
With every New Year comes resolutions- those new high expectations we put on ourselves can be overwhelming. When we don’t see results immediately or feel that we can’t overcome a hurdle easily, it sucks the life out of you. I’ve been there. In fact, sometimes I still end up there.
It may sound hokey and cliche, but to those reading this blog right now who may feel like a poopsock- know that I’m still here for you. We can get through this together.
Because you are awesome and you make this world awesome.
Everyone has a battle they are fighting. It doesn’t mean one is harder than the other. People put weight and merit on different aspects of their lives. But we all fight something.
I have had family and friends fight cancer. Some have lost. Such as my father who deteriorated over 3 years after diagnosis. Some have fought and made it through and found a renewed sense of adventure in life.
There are also people battling depression or mental illness. I see it all the time now. I’ve also lost friends and coworkers to this and it’s still shocking each time. I don’t know the right way to help those people. I go through bouts myself and have a tough time finding the happiness carrot. But I know it’s there. Somewhere for each of us to find it.
All I can say is reach out and help one another- no matter what the battle is. Sometimes a friendly phone call or text can brighten someone’s day.
So last Friday I wasn’t feeling great and took a day in bed. Reflecting back on it, I had a day of depression. Me. A man who is always chill. The guy who is ready to be nice to everyone. The dude who abides.
I had a bad day.
My bad day began the day before. It really shouldn’t have, but it did. I started my days off by taking a nap post night shift. I was supposed to meet some friends and a coworker for a beer later on Thursday evening. However, my coworker was called into work and my friends had forgotten/ or had difficulty making it out due to weather. I struggled on and went out for a beer by myself. Talk about taking one for the team.
Having a beer by myself wasn’t a big deal. I made a plan and I stuck to it. However, as I was out, I got really irritated by a few women that were at the brew house. It wasn’t their fault. They just spoke really mean about the people they knew and did it in a loud voice. *Lucky* for me I was sitting at the table next to them minding my own business- but eavesdropping on them without much choice. It made me sad that all they wanted to do was complain and share hatred about their lives.
After only having a couple beers while I was out I decided it was time to go home. At home, I ended up drinking another beer and calling it a night. But the thoughts of how mean these ladies were talking about their “friends” stuck with me as I fell asleep. That third beer made me bitter.
I woke up the following day feeling like crap emotionally. So I stayed in bed and proceeded to sleep off and on throughout the day. But the bitter pit stayed in me. It took me the entire day to shake it off.
People can have a profound effect on one another. Knowingly or unknowingly. I don’t know why I felt so bad after hearing these strangers talk. But I did.
Drowning out the negative is difficult to do. Moving forward I will continue to try and remain positive- both in how I live and act. Perhaps my little bit of positivity can make the world a better place.
If you’ve been following my daily blogs, you’ll notice that I try my best to portray something positive about my life. A part of me feels that there is too much negativity in this world. If I can share just a small ray of sunshine or a glimmer of joy on any given day- then I feel I have accomplished my daily goal.
Taking the red pill.
Let me be honest with you for a moment.
Every day isn’t always sunshine and moonbeams. Sometimes there’s a darkness. A really crappy, pull you down from your happy place, bury you so deep that you have to dig out of the muck, darkness. Those days I just want to curl up in the fetal position and sleep until forever passes me by. Lucky for me, I sidestep the darkness and peer around the corner and try to tell a story or two of something uplifting.
Tilting at windmills like Don Quixote.
I mention this because at one point in my life I was on antidepressants. Which is really better than the self medicating/ intoxication I was doing to myself. But I wasn’t thrilled to be taking a different set of drugs to alter my mental state. It changed me and I could sense the change. I became emotionless and I hated that more than being depressed. It made me realize that I didn’t need the pills- I just needed to be more positive.
Oh cat, it soon shall pass.
That may sound like hooey, but it’s true. After six months of being on the drug and not drinking, I stopped taking it. Once I started making goals for myself by becoming more kind and supportive to those around me. Then my life got better. By sharing the good, I received the good back.
As well, not gossiping or falling prey to rumors: either told to me or about me, meant my life has less conflict. I was able to start a long and happy life. I want the same for my friends and the few followers I have.
If my writing brings a smile to your face, please share it. If it makes you think a bit differently about how you interact with others, please let me know.
I put myself in a bit of a slump this weekend with my Father’s Day post. The effects of writing about not-so-pleasant memories drained my ambition. I started to feel down on myself. Anything people said, wrote, or messaged me- felt like a personal attack.
The difficulty I faced was wanting to quit. Quit writing. Quit working. Quit cleaning. Just quit everything and stay curled up in bed. That was Monday. Today is getting better. I had a really good nightshift with some great coworkers who had no idea I felt like crap. All it took was hearing great stories, listening to the laughter, and seeing the smiles on the guys who just love life. Getting up and going to work lifted my spirits. I can see why some guys never want to retire.
On an unrelated note- there are a few people that tolerate me or I tolerate them for the sake of the job. I’m cool with that. Just check your baggage at the door and we can make it through the day safely. No need for you or I to be a-holes to one another. We are adults and need to adult all adult-like.
In conclusion: work makes me happier-ish.