Festive Themed Horror Humor

Just like the month of October, I am enjoying some outlandish horror films based around the Christmas season. I’m not quite able to make myself watch one every day, but I have been watching them on my days off.

As can be expected- the films I’m watching are pretty budget. The Nutcracker Massacre was set in one house and the Villain (A life size Nutcracker) had two facial expressions. Neither had the mouth wide open like a real nutcracker, so that was disappointing.

Elves was another set in basically one house and a bar. The acting was that of a bunch of college friends trying to make a film. But no one read the script or took acting classes. The best part was the silly Snap Chat special effects on their faces. And even better was that one of them mentions it almost exactly like that in the film.

I have a few more bad movies in my queue to watch. Like really bad. Weredeer comes to mind right away.

I think it’s fun to watch these schlock films. I figure if people put forth the effort to make them, others should make the effort to watch the films.

Even if they are really bad.

Terror On Tubi

This entire month, I have been enjoying some of the most ridiculously cringy horror films ever made. Besides one or two films, most of the movies I have been streaming from Tubi.

What I find amusing is that I had no idea Tubi existed or that they even promoted “Terror on Tubi” this time of year. I recently discovered the app/website when we bought a new Amazon Fire TV and was browsing for streaming apps.

This is the first year I have watched a horror movie a day for the month of October. I may make this a regular tradition every year. I have been amused and throughly entertained this month. I have even had family members join me periodically to watch these ridiculous films.

Anyways, on to the next movie!

With only 8 days remaining until Halloween, todays film is about spiders. I was originally looking for the movie, “Arachnophobia” but have been unable to find it. I also thought about putting on “Eight Legged Freaks”- both films I had seen in the movie theater years ago. Instead, I went with a film from 1975- “The Giant Spider Invasion”.

Do you enjoy bad movies? How about horror films? What are your Halloween traditions?

Hang In There

The past few days have been rather difficult. Mentally and emotionally very challenging for me. Some of it is from work. Some from family. But the majority of my hardship is coming from within.

At the beginning of October I decided I needed an escape that wasn’t harmful to my well being. So I began to watch bad “B” Horror films. So far I am ten days and ten films in. Each day I am astonished at the ridiculousness of the plots and the idea that somehow these films were financially backed.

These films have brought me a few giggles. I am also able to really let myself be taken in by the ideals of movie magic and special effects. My wife is astonished that I discovered Tubi and how many films of this caliber is out there. She chose tonight’s film- “Attack of the Killer Donuts”. Spectacular in all aspects and well worth shutting off your brain.

Each of the films I have watched are shorter than most major motion pictures nowadays. Long enough to make it longer than a tv series, but short enough to keep me alert. With all of these bombs, it is taking me away from my life. A well deserved mental break from the challenges I face.

I just have to keep telling myself: Hang in there. It gets worse…. And so do the movies.

Alien Day

Come on in.

Today is April 26th. Otherwise known as ALIEN DAY.

LV-426 is the name of the moon where the aliens were discovered. You know, the Xenomorph aliens from Ridley Scott’s movie franchise. One of the best sci-fi/horror crossovers ever created.

I saw the movie Alien as a small child. Like 6 years old small. We had Superchannel back in 1982 and it was one of the movies of the month. Somehow I managed to sneak a viewing of it without my parent’s knowledge. You think that’s young? We took our daughter to see it when the film was re-released in the theaters in 2003; she was 15 months old. The aliens didn’t scare her. The android getting ripped apart did.

I was thinking about watching the first film tonight once more. It is a favorite of mine, even though it is terrifying. Except for the second film, I have seen every other film in the franchise in the theater. I am probably one of the few that liked the third one.

A few years back, we watched all the films in one marathon as a family. A midweek marathon isn’t going to happen. But I do love me some science fiction. The next month is exciting for me!

Next week- Star Wars Day! And May 25th- Towel Day!

Halloween Is On The Way

I love October. It means Halloween is on the way!

I can start to wear more black clothes than I already did. I also have the next couple of months to wear some of my “Nightmare Before Christmas” t-shirts. I remember seeing that film in the theater as a teenager when it first came out. I took my girlfriend at the time on a date to our local six plex. Since then, so many women I know have loved the movie. Perhaps they have a thing for tall skinny dudes?

Getting closer to Halloween also means things are more spooky! Over the weekend, I pulled out some of our decorations and set them up in the yard. The two banners I picked up from the movie theater in 2003 still make up for the largest part of my decorations. Each banner is approximately 4’ x 8’ so they look spectacular (or is that spooktacular) hanging on our front windows. I have had numerous friends wanting to buy these banners from me. They keep asking when I will part with them. Probably never. They are an integral part of our Halloween decor.

Are you starting to decorate for Halloween? Or do you wait until a few days before? Let me know in the comments.

Bad Movies

This afternoon, I decided to watch a cheesy horror movie in the comfort of our home. My kids watched with me, but our oldest was not paying much attention as she enjoyed playing in the Nintendo Switch.

I’ve always had a soft spot for cheesy horror films. In fact, I love films in general. Back in the 80’s and 90’s when video stores had a rent one get one free- I would choose the most ridiculous sounding movies as the free one. Now with Amazon Prime and Netflix sharing some of these “Classics” I get to relive the craptastic films that made me laugh.

Cheesy horror and slapstick comedy does not, I repeat- DOES NOT always hold up in rewatchability. “Killer Klowns” is no exception. The movie is bad. And bad in a bad way. Not bad in a fun way. Really bad. A few weeks ago we watched “House” and that was also bad. We enjoy making fun of these movies while we watch them. Screaming at the characters on screen or predicting the next zany kill.

Next film on my list of torture viewing is from 1987- “The Masters Of The Universe”. The He-Man live action that ruins the plot idea as bad as the live action “Super Mario Bros”. Dang, I should add that to my list of films as well! Probably right after we view some TROMA classics. Or “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes”.

Do you enjoy schlock horror? Tell me about your favorite.

The Thing

Last night I shared with my family the classic horror film, John Carpenter’s The Thingfrom 1982. Besides a few good jumps that scared my wife, I’m unsure of my children’s opinions on this masterpiece. It had been a few years since I last saw it and wanted to watch it- so Yay! Family Movie Night!


I originally saw the film in 1983 on Super Channel when I lived in Edmonton as a child. Again, my parents didn’t overly know what I was watching on TV as I grew up, so this one slipped by. I was seven years old and the film terrified me. Having seen “e.t.” a year prior- my ideas of aliens were limited to family friendly ideals. This was not family friendly. I believe I also watched “Alien” that year on Super Channel. 


It really was a Super Channel for watching totes inappropes films and TV.  I saw a lot of boobies as well- unscrambled (men my age know what I’m talking about). But there was a lot of shock and horror I witnessed as well. I believe this is what set me on my path of enjoying some gruesome special effects. 

The Thing” holds up quite well after all of these years. The use of practical effects really made it feel like these guys were in a frozen hell. Some of the stop motion was a bit cheesy, but for an early 80’s film- that’s part of the charm. As Halloween draws nearer, I am sharing with my children some darker films besides “Beetlejuice” and “A Nightmare Before Christmas” to set the mood. They all seem to be enjoying them, so we’ll soon find out where the line is. 


I’m thinking “Saw” just might cross that line. 

From Catchprases to Catastrophic Films.

Recently at work I realized that there are a few “catchphrases” that I use.  These have become a way of my speaking that I don’t notice saying them anymore.  At least not until someone points it out. So I am writing about a couple of them.

One phrase I’ve been using over the past few weeks is one that I used to use years ago. “Pitter-patter.  Let’s get at ‘er.” This phrase strikes me as an odd one.  It reminds me of talking to children about getting things done quickly.  I do tend to say it more in a joking manner when using it.  Sure, I want the work to get done.  But I also want the employees to be a bit relaxed and calm at the start of the shift.  If saying something ridiculous like “Pitter-patter” gives them some motivation, and it works, then why should I stop saying it?

The other phrase I use is one that I began using about eight or nine years ago.  It’s stayed with me ever since.  I still remember the first time I decided to say it.  I was working a nightshift servicing a couple of industries. It made the engineer laugh pretty hard the first time I said it, so it stuck.  I use this phrase whenever a train starts to pull and the tail end finally moves. I used to say it as a Yardmaster as well when I would tail a crew in a track using a camera. I get on the radio and say, “All shakin’ Kevin Bacon.”


It’s a great reference to the films “Footloose and Tremors” starring Mr. Kevin Bacon.  Just a bit of fun as we work moving rail cars. Plus I loved the movie “Tremors” a shit ton when it came out.  I was 14 and must’ve watched it a few dozen times that year.  Big sand snakes called “Graboids” that chase people from underground in the desert?  What’s not to love? 


Mind you- this was at a time in my life that I really enjoyed “B” horror movies.  The kinds that you would find on the 2-4-1 video rental shelves.  Sometimes they had excessive blood and guts, othertimes naked women for no reason. Hey- I was just becoming a teenage boy with a vcr and tv in his room, can you blame me for renting these?  Schlock horror was (and still is) a guilty pleasure of mine.  Give me some “Evil Dead” or “Toxic Avenger” anytime.  Throw in the “Child’s Play” or the “House” series and you’d live through my movie repertoire. 


I’m glad that Netflix has brought back a few classics over the past couple of years as well. I completely forgot about “Killer Klowns From Outer Space”. I can’t imagine some of these films getting made today- especially at a time when remakes and superhero movies are all the rage. 

Wait a second, “Sharknado 5: Global Swarming” is coming out this August! I hope they plan another sequel after it. If not, “Pitter-patter.  Let’s get at ‘er!”