Celebrity Fun

Over the years I have met numerous celebrities. That is mainly due to me being a Convention Carny. I’ve even had quite a few interactions with celebrities online as well. Most recently was my all time favorite- Elvira.

I had the luxury of meeting Cassandra Peterson in person in Vancouver followed by a few weeks later in Los Angeles. She was so nice to my daughter and I. I learned that her sense of humor is raunchy and fun, so a random comment on Instagram made me happy that she responded. Oh yeah, 13 year old me still has the hots for her.

The fact that Pee-Wee Herman and Elvira are close friends makes me happy as well. A few years ago, Mr. Herman liked a comment of mine on Facebook. I’ve dressed as PW for Halloween and acted the part as well.

But my favorite set of celebrity friends is Felicia Day and Wil Wheaton. I’ve had the opportunity to met them both a couple times at various conventions and even played a board game with Felicia Day.

Celebrities are like regular people running a business. The interactions they have with the public is akin to promoting a product. That product being their status in the media world. It’s fun and neat when they communicate indirectly with you. A moment of connection occurs.

Have you had any good interactions with celebrities? Or even any bad ones? Let me know in the comments. I’m off to continue being an influencer now… to my family.

As Far As Friends Go…

After last Wednesday’s funeral, I had mentioned how I was going to get back into Facebook and search out friends once more. Some people have found me and added me. But generally speaking- it has been me reaching out again. It was as my choice over two years ago to leave Facebook Friends behind after all.

In the short time since starting my friend gathering, I have accumulated 124 Facebook Friends. When I left back in March 2019 I was at almost 400. It feels like I hit reset on a game and my saved progress is gone.

Time to go in like Ash Ketchum on his adventures to get Pokémon! I’m 14% of the way there. Considering there are 898 total currently out there. I can hit that number of Pokémon friends quick enough.

So as I try and gather up my friend numbers, I’m going to use my power-up: kindness. It’s super effective. Gotta catch’em all!

I want to be the very best!

Office Supply Boredom

Work is a bit slow these days. It reminds me of a time a few years ago when I was working nights and it was equally slow. My boss and I decided to make some toys from office supplies.

Office Wars

The pencil crossbow was my favorite. I ended up making two of these and my boss and I did target practice at empty boxes. These things were quite powerful and a ton of fun.

Found on Reddit

We also made various animals from the large binder clips. The Scorpion one was the coolest by far. In fact my wife calls the clips “Scorpion Clips” now because of this.

Pretty sure these activities stem from a childhood of school boredom. At least the art has gotten better than just a few pencil holes stabbed in an eraser. Or using the protractor set to create a catapult.

Do you create using office or school supplies when bored? Let me know in the comments.

Floaties

Having a pool means having friends over. It also means having FLOATIES to enjoy.

We bought some lounging inflatables before we moved in. You know, just because… I love the fact that everyone enjoys them all. Some are tubes with an animal head attached (the duck and flamingo). Others are just silly fun, like the llama and narwhal. I love the crazy fun we have with each one.

The narwhal is ridiculously difficult to ride. So it has become a game amongst everyone to see how long they last. Kind of like a mechanical bull. I’m the winner so far, but I’ve also had a lot of practice.

I think next summer we will try and get a bunch more floaties in order to fill the pool. It’s been so much fun this year, why not double it next year?

Deteriorating Joe

I know I was complaining yesterday about my joints and pains. Today I realized I have hit another stage of growing older. And it wasn’t my hearing like I thought it was going to be because of the loud music and my work environment. Nope, it’s my eyesight.

I was unable to read the writing on the yellow part of this label. My wife gave me her reading glasses, and voila- clear as crystal. It’s odd because I could read the part above with a bit of strain, but accurately without hesitation.

Naturally, I went on my phone to search up signs of aging and stuff like that. Here’s what I found:

  • Your Heart Works Harder.
  • Your Skin Feels Different.
  • You Find It Harder to See and Hear.
  • Your Teeth and Gums Change.
  • Your Bones Become More Brittle.
  • Going to the Bathroom.
  • It’s Harder Getting Around or Staying Strong.

I stopped consuming alcohol last August because I could feel my heart working harder than ever. By October I felt normal. But the last month or so I have noticed my heartbeats being erratic once more. And with the aches creeping in more, and today’s realization that my eyesight is going to diminish, I’m feeling a bit down.

I always knew that I’d grow old. That’s just what happens. I’ve already been enjoying trimming nose and ear hairs as I watch my hairline recede. Getting a scratch or bruise? Might as well watch it heal at a snails pace. On normal days where I don’t work nights? Bedtime is before nine pm.

So yeah, my body is getting decrepit. Since the day I was born, it was a downhill slope leading to eventual destruction. Just like everyone else. What to do about it? Besides complaining (which I kind of enjoy) or comparing it to other people’s ailments- I think it’s best to IGNORE it.

I meant, work out. Exercise. Read more. Eat healthier. Look after myself. I kind of like my life and friends and family. It’d be nice to see them for a while longer. Or I can hope that technology catches up soon and I can be part robotic.

Anyhow, maybe next time I get my eyesight checked I’ll look at the possibility of getting reading glasses. Until then- I’ll use the technology available to me now. My iPhone can zoom in on the directions for me. Who needs glasses?

It’s Called The Tweak Scratch

As much as I love quoting The Beastie Boys, I tweaked my back yesterday and it wasn’t fun. I hurt myself doing a normal task- stirring pasta. That is almost as bad as straining my thumb taking off a sock. My thumb has been in pain for weeks now. It’s tough to text on my phone. Life is rough.

Being in my mid-forties and getting injured in such simple ways is torturous to the ego. I’m getting worried about what will happen when I hit fifty. My wife keeps telling me I need to stretch and exercise more. I think Advil is good enough, for now…

I’m thinking about swimming and doing yoga this summer. Perhaps it will loosen up my tense muscles. One can only hope. I’ll probably rock out in my backyard to some Beastie Boys as I “work out.”

So, “If you can feel what I’m feeling then it’s a musical masterpiece/ If you can hear what I’m dealing with then that’s cool at least/ What’s running through my mind comes through in my walk/ True feelings are shown from the way that I talk”

Towel Day 2021

Remember your towel today! It’s International Towel Day. Here’s a brief description:

A towel, [The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy] says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value. You can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapors; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a miniraft down the slow heavy River Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (such a mind-boggingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can’t see it, it can’t see you); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.

That time I met Howie Mandel

Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy is one of my favorite science fiction series ever. We named our first born daughter Random because of it. I have even dressed as Arthur Dent at conventions in the past.

I will be bringing my towel with me all day. Just like I do Every Towel Day. It’s a sign of being a nerd. A true nerd.

Go To Sleep Joe.

I’m not busy doing much of anything. Including sleep. Most times I can just roll over and pass out. I’ve slept through jackhammering and roofing. This morning I’m just aimlessly wandering the Internet. Maybe a lullaby will help after my night shift.

Now the world has gone to bed,
Darkness won’t engulf my head,
I can see in infrared,
How I hate the night.

He paused to gather the artistic and emotional strength to tackle the next verse.
Now I lay me down to sleep,
Try to count electric sheep,
Sweet dream wishes you can keep,
How I hate the night.

What would really help is putting down my phone and closing my eyes. Farewell for the day. Or as Truman says:

Okay sleep. Do your thing.

Feeling Old Randomly

Today I suddenly felt old. Which is a strange sensation when it hits you. It was one of those Throwback Thursday moments. I found out that something I once enjoyed turned 32 today.

When I was twelve or thirteen, I began watching Saturday Night Live. I didn’t always stay up late to watch it, instead I used my parent’s VCR and would record the show and watch it early Sunday morning. I discovered a great cast of stars like Mike Meyers, Dana Carvey, Victoria Jackson, Phil Hartman, even Jon Lovitz and others.

I kept a collection of footage on numerous tapes, each about six hours in length. When I went to visit my best friend at spring break and over summer, I would bring these tapes and we would watch them over and over. At one point, my parents got a second VCR, so I would edit my favorite clips together.

One of the most ridiculous sketches was still one of my favorites. It actually involves Steve Martin. And no, it wasn’t one of the classic ones from the 70’s and early 80’s. It was about a cat.

Toonces! The cat who could drive a car. He drives around, all over the town- he’s Toonces the driving cat.

The jingle was silly and to the point. The sketch was stupid. So dumb that at age 13- I thought it was absolutely brilliant. Toonces turned 32 today. I feel really old, but still giggled when I looked up the sketch on YouTube.

I shared the fact that Toonces is 32 with my best friend who would watch those Saturday Night Live recordings with me. We have been friends since kindergarten in 1981. That’s a long time. Nearly 40 years now.

Do you have any random memories that make you feel old?

Tender Fart- The Unspoken of Carebear

My wife and I have a special relationship. It’s filled with love and understanding; compassion and kindness. But above all- acceptance. Acceptance of our flaws.

I accept that my wife has a crude sense of showing her love for me some days. I recently saw some screen shots of a text conversation we had about four years ago. It’s the same type of conversation we have had previously and continue to have.

Fart humor.

Yes. That text exchange was while we lay next to each other in bed. It’s not the first time we have done that. Nor will it be the last time. (I’m obviously talking about my wife’s farts and how proud she is of them).

Everyone farts. You can’t deny that. Is it acceptable to share them? Honestly- read the room first. Not everyone finds passing gas humorous. Especially if there’s an odor that goes along with it.

I enjoy that my wife and I are that comfortable around one another. And that we can fart freely. We both still giggle as a reaction to one another’s gas works. A little rumble in the down under makes for some good laughs.

Do you fart around your loved ones?

Six Times Nine Equals Forty Two

Okay. The answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything is…

42

That’s 42 days from now!

In six weeks we are moving to our new house. Our entire life, universe and everything will be changing. This is hitting a 9 out of 10 on the stress scale now.

I’m terrified and excited at the same time. The fact that we had such a long closing date for leaving here and the possession of our new home has been both a blessing and a curse. The countdown seems so far away still. Yet we have the majority of our home packed up. Which is great, except that we are living in only a portion of our house at the moment.

Our living room is packed with boxes all labeled to where they need to go in our new home. No more theater room and watching shows on our big screen. My wife’s studio is also filled. All of the bedrooms have a stack of boxes and this new chaos feels like it is running rampant in our home. The most empty space we have at this time is our yard. We cleared out so much debris outside that our land looks enormous once more.

For the next month and a half, we will be enjoying the outdoors a bit more than normal. Every year we have enjoyed dining outdoors. This year will be no different. Even when we move- we will enjoy the outdoors.

Enough blogging. Back to packing. Hmmm… I wonder which Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy quote I should focus on:

  • “Don’t Panic.” …
  • “Time is an illusion. …
  • “Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?”

Always Two, There Are

Star Wars Day began a few years ago. “May The Fourth be with you.” Star Wars fans expanded it to include a few more days. I suspect that’s because the SW universe keeps expanding and there is so much Star Wars entertainment to enjoy now.

Today is “Revenge of the Sixth” and yesterday was “Revenge of the Fifth.” Sounds silly to some folks. But fans of the series know this to be true because of what Yoda said when speaking about the Sith (the bad guys for those not following Star Wars lore).

“Always two, there are. No more. No less. A Master and an apprentice.

I enjoy my fandom and the fun we have. Every one of us expresses our love of Star Wars in many different ways. From quoting movies to tattoos to costuming and prop making. Whatever the case may be- Star Wars is a lifestyle that many of us live.

What is your way of showing your love of Star Wars? How many days do you celebrate the franchise?

Finding Fanny Pack Money

Discovering forgotten money is a great feeling. Any denomination over a dollar feels like you won just the lottery. You can often find money in an old jacket, purse or a pair of pants. Once I found a twenty dollar bill in a jacket after buying it from a thrift store. That was a good sensation- essentially the jacket was free.

Last night I discovered three $5 bills and some loose change in an old fanny pack… A late 1980’s Fanny pack, with 1980’s money inside. A crazy blast from the past moment for me. I was excited like a kid again- reliving moments of when I sported a fanny pack. Hanging with friends, going to the corner store, wandering around Playland, carrying cassettes for my Walkman- all those memories hit me at once when I saw the contents of this satchel.

After this brief moment down memory lane, I put the money back into the bag and showed it to my family. I asked my three kids if any of them wanted the fanny pack- for some reason they each said no. I zipped it open and showed them the money.

They still didn’t want the bag. But the money on the other hand…

My son asked if it was fake money since he had never seen this version of a Canadian five dollar bill before. I told them they could each take one of the bills. I also said that if one of them had taken the bag, all of the money would have been theirs as well.

They didn’t seem to care- each of them was still getting some money for nothing and didn’t have to take a fanny pack. I thought for sure that one of them would have wanted it. But I guess The Rock can’t impress my kids enough to become fashion icons.

Jar Lids: For Every Event

I forget that my wife is five years older than I am. Many of our interests growing up were different. Our upbringings were also different, but it also shared many similarities. Sometimes I find stuff of hers that I just didn’t know existed. Such as an old hobby of hers.

I do know all about cross stitching. My wife has made some beautiful Christmas stockings for our family years ago; as well as a couple of pieces she made for our kids. I knew she was talented in that aspect. She has immense patience when doing a task like that.

However, I did not know that it was a thing in the late 80’s to make cross stitch for jar lids. “For Every Event” no less! I suppose if you’re crafting, why not make jar lids for your canning as well?

The designs are rather simplistic. They remind me of Perler Beads or old computer video game animation. Very squared off and somewhere along the lines of being 16bit.

This makes sense to me. I miss seeing creative people at conventions making cross stitch fan art. I wonder if they started with “Jar Lids For Every Event” first? Perhaps these crafters started with something similar to understand the basics.

I have a feeling my wife will be getting back into this hobby once we move. What other reason would she have for leaving this on our table for me to discover? In fact, I may just have to take up the hobby as well.

I’m pretty sure we have a stash of jars that need decorative lids for our new home.

It’s Five O’clock Somewhere

“It’s five o’clock somewhere.”

It’s a phrase many of us have heard, and even said, over the years.

It’ll be nice to have the pandemic behind us and celebrate once more. Sure, there’s still been enjoyment of alcohol over the past year or so. But hitting a pub, bar, or social house is something that even I long for.

Happy hour needs to happen again. We all need to let loose and enjoy one another’s company. We are so close to having this pandemic put behind us. Once it’s time to get jiggy with it, you’ll find me setting my clock to “Party Time.”

Yea. I’m tired and this post isn’t great. But that clock of mine is cheesy and I tried really hard to write a blog about it. Oh well.

Cheers everyone!

Raunchy Musicals

I love musicals. The way they tell a story through song and dance brings me joy. My mother took me to a few Andrew Lloyd Webber musicals back in the day. I enjoyed the experience of going to the Queen Elizabeth Theater in Vancouver to watch the shows.

However, I have an unusually soft spot for raunchy musicals. “Chicago” “Little Shop of Horrors” and “Rocky Horror Picture Show” are classics and relatively tame when you consider some others.

Recently, my sixteen year old daughter introduced me to “The Book Of Mormon”. The subject matter and lyrics are definitely offensive. But humorous nonetheless. I knew of this musical, but I missed out on it the last time it came around. Once shows start happening again- I hope to catch this one live one day. Perhaps I should show her “Cannibal! The Musical” by the same creators.

Because my daughter has a twisted sense of humor, like her old man, I am trying to find “The First Nudie Musical” from 1976 for her to watch. The last time I saw this film was in 1988. I don’t remember much about it and only saw it the one time. However, I do recall laughing quite a bit at the film. Perhaps that was partially due to the uncomfortableness of starting puberty.

Nonetheless, raunchy musicals push the envelope of people’s comfort and explore the deviancies and taboos of the world. I guess that’s what makes it art.

Do you have any musicals of that nature that I should watch? Let me know in the comments. Catchy songs are always good as well, even if they a more vulgar.

My Original Profile Picture

Recently Facebook reminded me of my first “Tagged” photo. It also happened to be the photo I used as my profile picture for the first year or so on Facebook.

As you can see, it is of my father’s gravestone marker. Anyone who I befriended at the start of my Facebook days would have seen this image. Obviously I took this picture and tagged myself in it.

Fourteen years ago, I didn’t take selfies or share many pictures. In fact, my first smartphone was the iPhone 4 in 2010. Any photos I did share were from a one megapixel digital camera. I had to upload The images onto our computer, then filter through them (because the display screen on the camera was tiny- there was now way to tell in a picture was good or great). Most of my photos were of my kids as well.

So there wasn’t a profile picture of me that I was content with. Not with the age of “Showing off Instant Perfection” starting…

Yes folks, it’s still going on. We all want to share the best part of our lives. Most of the time I think it’s great seeing the individual successes. But I also know that it can be mentally taxing on each and every one of us. Myself included- for both.

So instead of trying to create the perfect profile picture with a low end digital camera- I used a picture with my name. It also served as a reminder of my father and the difference in our parenting styles.

Plus it is a bit morbid seeing your own name on a tombstone. I find that stuff amusing.

Unappetizing Photos

Everyone loves to take pictures of their meals. Be it at a restaurant or a homemade meal. I am no different. If the food has a delicious presentation, it needs to be shared. “Instagramable” so to speak.

My wife made a lovely turkey dinner last night. So I took some pictures. Dinner was delicious. The plate in front of me was But you wouldn’t be able to tell that by these next couple of photos:

Just look at that bird’s hole. The flash from my phone added a glistening that really made it unappealing.

The cranberry sauce from a can was the perfect accompaniment to the turkey. Check out the ridges on the jelly. Yummy.

It’s amazing how a picture can change a person’s perspective on things. But the food was still just as tasty as ever!

Fool! Not Today, Excalibur.

Today was pretty weak for April Fool’s Day jokes. There wasn’t much in the way of big ones. Nor was there any good ones shared by my friends.

This is likely due to the fact that we are still struggling through a pandemic. Many of us are more adept in keeping informed and sharing real stories. We have become skeptical over the past year or so.

Life just went on being the way it is. Excalibur did not get to yell “FOOL!” at me today. However, putting up his image makes me want to watch some anime again. Soul Eater would be good for a rewatch.

The Internet Reacts Quickly

A few hours ago, a container ship (roughly as long as the height of the Empire State Building) got stuck in the Suez Canal.

The implications of how it is affecting the world economy hit almost immediately. Prices of gas has already shot up. Following soon will be the price of merchandise and goods. This vessel is preventing another 100 ships from going through the canal. It’s absolutely insane how quick the market is reacting to the news.

In true Internet fashion, the public’s reactions are humorous and just as quick. My favorite is the Austin Powers reference seen here. At the end of the day, no one is hurt and the ship will get moved. But the humor is far more appealing to most of us compared to the frustration of how much products and gas will cost in the coming days.

All you can do is laugh at the situation. I cannot wait to see what else comes from the talk show hosts and comedians today.

Green Food

Yesterday was St. Patrick’s Day, so my wife decided to have some fun with our foods. We added a bit of food coloring to a couple of our meals.

Our pancake breakfast was a colorful way to start the day. This breakfast is always a family favorite no matter what colour we make them. The skillet cooked flapjacks were delicious.

Dinner however…

Dinner was unsettling.

My wife made fried chickpea patties, which are always good. We had a basic romaine lettuce salad on the side. Our other side was rice with a mushroom sauce. The mushroom sauce was dyed green and was most unappetizing looking. That made it a bit more difficult to enjoy, even though it is something we have had in the past (only in its normal state).

One of our kids described the sauce as ogre snot. The other said it looked like Nickelodeon slime. Unfortunately the colour changed how the meal tasted in my mind. I’ve had issues with foods in the past based on texture or smell. Never colour. This was a first for me.

Note to self: do not dye cream of mushroom soup ever again.

Maskne

It’s been a year of following guidelines and wearing masks. I never had issues from breathing through a mask. But I have on occasion developed some acne from mask wearing.

The term that I’m sure you’ve heard is Maskne. A combo of mask and acne. I have only gotten a couple of pimples on my chin since the pandemic began, so I’m happy about that. I generally have clear skin.

I did however discover a zit inside my nose yesterday. A ZIT INSIDE MY NOSE. What the heck? Why? And why does it hurt so much?

I had to stick my finger into my nostril and press my nail against it to pop it. I popped the zit by picking my nose. It hurt so badly I was crying. Yup, I am a sexy man. Sorry folks, I am spoken for. My wife is extremely lucky.

How is your acne behind the mask going? Any fun stories like mine?

Funyuns

Today’s blog is about nothing. Flavored, crunchy air rings of nothingness. A strange chemical concoction that I decided to ingest as a late night snack yesterday.

This snack was salty and filled with all the fakeness you could imagine. A two dollar bag of flavored air rings. A glorious attempt at making them look and taste like onion rings, without actually containing onions.

And I ate the entire bag in one sitting. In my bed. Watching tv. Hating myself with every bite. Disgusted by the fact that I licked my fingers clean afterwards. Worst of all? I didn’t want to share them!

Funyuns. Damn you!

Laughing After Work

Every couple of weeks I work opposite a fella who I enjoy talking with. We have gotten into a routine of conversations while we drive to and from work. I really appreciate those phone calls.

We talk about pretty much everything. Work, family, the weather… you name it. But my favorite phone call is the one we have after work. That is when we share all the stuff that has occurred throughout the day. And we laugh. A lot.

It’s a great feeling to unwind after a long shift with a mutual kindred spirit. In all honesty, sometimes all we can do is laugh. Some of the most ridiculous things can occur in a twelve hour period. And it must be laughed about.

Tastes Trapped In Time

Fresgo. Forever trapped in Surrey.

Yesterday I took my daughter out for a late lunch date. We went to a place that I haven’t been to in twenty years. Fresgo Inn (Don’t bother with the website as it feels as if someone in the late 90’s attempted html). It has not changed in all the time I can remember. Nor was it very updated two decades ago either. This restaurant is trapped in some weird time vortex. Plus it was really difficult to locate. As if the Matrix had moved it two inches to the left.

My daughter and I walked into the cafeteria style restaurant and the first thing we noticed was the way the tile floor was grooved out by all the decades of foot traffic. Behind the plexiglass cabinets were styrofoam plates (styrofoam? Who uses that?) with oversized dessert portions. The same style of desserts that have been sold for ages.

The meals we chose were simple. Montreal style poutine and a cheeseburger. Massive portions, for the price we paid, created by a chef in one of those tall cylindrical paper hats. We ate our lunch at a table with mismatched chairs from the 70’s.

We ended up bringing plates of desserts home. The chocolate pie was rich and artificial tasting. The cheesecake tasted as if the chef had been smoking prior to starting his shift. Stale smoke filled every bite. It was like stepping into a time machine and taking a bite out of the 1980’s.

Besides the awkward feeling the restaurant has, it’s not my regular fanfare of foods. But it was worth a trip down memory lane. If I avoid it for another couple of decades- it may turn into The Restaurant At The End Of The Universe. Which it was already on the way to become.