Do You Remember?

Do you remember? The 21st night of September?

My wife loves that song. Her friends often look forward to singing it to her every year. I find it humorous and have written about it in the past: 21st Night of September . Today got me thinking about my wife and how she remembers the way I like things done. Specifically preparing food.

Now, I’m not saying that the way I like my food prepared is right, but it is how I like my food. It used to cause many discussions years ago, but now my wife just goes with it. Usually.

I’m a big texture and taste person when it comes to food. I don’t overly care if different food touches on a plate, so that’s not it. It’s more how the flavors mix. For example- when making a sandwich- the mustard side needs to be the side the meat is on, not the cheese. Cheese on mustard has a very different taste and texture compared to meat and mustard. Trust me.

Mr Noodles… the instructions on the packet are wrong. The noodles need to be placed in the water immediately and then brought to a boil. Once the noodles are soft, drain all the water. Then put the noodles in a bowl and add the flavor packet. This isn’t a soup we are making! It’s called Mr. Noodles not Mr. Soup.

Because of these preferences, I will admit that I am the one who usually ends up making the lunches. My wife will adhere to my choices when making something for me, which is nice, and has on occasion agreed with how I make foods. Like a dash of salt after goulash is served. It brings out the flavor immensely as you are about to eat.

However it’s not just food preferences I need to work on with her. I still need to get her to understand that the toilet paper flap goes over the roll, not behind it.

And with that, I am off to escape to work to avoid confrontation once she reads my blog.

Love you honey!

Wedding: Finally Jansen

Yesterday I attended the wedding of a coworker of mine. Their wedding was postponed due to Covid. In fact, his original wedding date was going to be on July 10, 2021 That date was actually my 20th Anniversary with my wife. We would not have been able to attend my friends wedding had it happened on that day. Fast forward to 2022…

Back in April, I went to Dillon’s bachelor party in Vegas. That was where I had a chance to meet some of his other friends. I realized that we all genuinely have a similar sense of humor and comradery. It was great to see them again last night and share a few laughs.

At the wedding, I didn’t take many photos with my cellphone. The couple had a sign out front stating it was an “Unplugged” celebration. Some old school disposable cameras were handed out, so I filled one with photos (which I hope turned out!) The couple will get a chance to see the final products once they develop the films. I think this was a neat idea and will be more genuine for the feel of the party as there is no way to manipulate or see the pictures ahead of time.

They did have a photo booth set up, so my wife and I did a couple pictures together. We were also given some lovely coasters as a wedding favor that we took home.

For the reception- our table was filled with a few of my coworkers. We became known as “Table 12” throughout the night. We were also the reason the open bar wasn’t starting until 8pm. Our group was a bit raucous, full of laughter, and entertaining the crowd. I did tell a joke that was not very family friendly. But entertaining nonetheless.

It was a good time and I’m glad that we attended the festivities. Big congratulations to Dillon and Taryn for finally getting their day in the spotlight! I wish them all the best for their future together!

Toilet Upgrade…?

Let’s talk toilets and bums today, shall we?

I was so excited this afternoon. My Amazon package arrived and I had only ordered it yesterday! It was a bidet attachment for a standard toilet. It fits nicely under the seat with minimal effort to install.

I’m not going to lie, this has been on my wish list since our trip to Tokyo. As much as I wanted a heated one that plays music, this was an inexpensive option that works as a quick splash test. It took about 20 minutes to complete the installation. It was super easy, barely an inconvenience.

My bum was so excited that I sat down and tried it out once I confirmed there were no leaks. The water was cool as it hosed off my little chocolate starfish; but not frigid like I expected which was nice. It got the job done and cleaned my bum.

I’m probably the only one in the house who will use it. That’s ok. It does have a second spray for the female region as well as a self cleaning. Not to mention there is an adjustable spray force as well. Let’s just keep that at a low setting for now- I didn’t buy it to be an at home enema.

Do you have a bidet addition on your toilet? Perhaps the ever popular “Tushy” or a different brand like I picked up (Samodra if you are wondering). If there are any flaws, I’ll share that at a future date or in the comments- butt for now, I’m happy and so is my clean bum bum.

Getting Old

I’m rocking this life past my mid forties now. With it comes, well, anguish. Almost daily I discover a new pain. From my back to my shoulders to my elbows. It’s as if my joints are just unhappy and screaming for attention.

But I am also hitting second puberty. You know- where hair grows in new places and disappears from the top of my head. However, I need to keep those hairs at bay. So it was time to get a new trimmer. Yes, this is my second nose and ear hair trimmer in the past decade. Don’t judge me. But I need to learn how to use this trimmer.

Seriously, who decides that the instructions need to be in the smallest writing possible? As if growing ear and nose hair would somehow give me superhuman eyesight. Or perhaps the company is trying to tell me I need glasses. It’s a conspiracy! The nose hair trimmers are in it with the optimists!

Or I can “Be a man” and just use the trimmer without the instructions. Ugh. I hope that I don’t rip the hairs out and it actually cuts. I’ll let you know if I start to look like Edward Scissorhands with scars on my face.

Getting old is a pain. But I’ll try and do it gracefully and not share any more of how I get there.

Old Man Shower

Now that our tenants have moved out, it was time to check that all of our facilities are working. As I mentioned before- the laundry machines got swapped and we have set up a nice living room in the basement. We also ran the dishwasher and tested the fridge water/ice maker. In the bathroom- besides using the toilet and sink- I needed to try out the downstairs showers.

Is that a tub or a walk-in shower? It’s both.

The basement portion of our home was tailor built to accommodate an older generation. You know- people well past their sixties. In the basement is a bathroom with a unique tub. It is a walk-in bathtub called “The Imperial”.

It’s the sort of tub that you need to step into first and latch the door before filling it up. Naturally I needed to try it out. So I stepped inside and began to fill the tub.

In under 8 minutes, the water had filled up past the jets and covered my knees as I sat there. At this point, I turned on the jets. BUBBLES!

I’m not going to lie- I was fairly comfortable as the bubbles and water washed over my lower body. This is one of the few times my knees have been submerged in a bathtub as an adult. TMI: I really enjoyed the bubbles that came up past my junk. It wasn’t arousing in any way, just sort of nice. Looking at the pamphlet- it’s called “The Bidet Notch”. Noice.

Draining it is far faster than any other tub I have ever been in. I pulled the stopper and the water flowed out in an almost vacuum like state. Anyways, I may hit this tub when I have a long day. It’s calm, relaxing and at the far end of our home- away from the hustle and bustle of our lives.

Man, I’m ready to be old.

Bug Off

It’s September 1st. Some folks think summer is over- but I disagree. The weather has been absolutely stunning these days. My days off have been fantastic, but busy. Yet I am still enjoying life.

Today as I got the pool ready, I noticed a couple bugs in the water. As I skimmed the water to get them out, I realized the size of these ones. Much larger than the usual fly or mosquito. Clearly the summer was good to them- as they are bigger than I could have imagined.

Once I cleaned the pool, my wife and I enjoyed the afternoon sun. We floated around in the pool- staring off into the horizon. We are not ready to give up on summer.

Just like the bugs that I tossed aside- I’m tossing aside the idea that summer is over. And any of those folks who think it’s time for autumn- you can bug off. Summer isn’t over!

Fun Lies To Children

Having small kids is filled with telling them lies. Many of the lies are done in order to calm or control the kids in some way. I know many parents who have told the same lies I have told.

The Three Big Lies

Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy are the three main lies we have told to our children. These fibs led to some good behavior and some magical moments as they grew up. It is always fun to be the character behind the curtain and make their dreams come true. A few gifts, some candy, a dollar or two. But I have a couple of other lies I have told over the years that I found amusing.

ID4

Telling our children at a young age that the move Independence Day was based on true events brought me joy. I wrote about it here: ID 4. Watching the film every year is one of my guilty pleasures. The kids also enjoy the film, so no harm no foul in telling them that lie.

However, my favorite lie was telling my kids that when the ice cream truck was playing music- it meant they were out of ice cream. That worked for a very long time. Each of them just grew to accept that we weren’t going to buy a frozen treat. Our youngest was the last to discover the truth. One day our son was over at a neighbor’s house and those parents went and bought ice cream from The Ice Cream Man.

I saw him getting a treat as I was leaving for work that day. Not sure if it was guilt in his face for being caught, or the look was the fact that he realized that I was always lying about the music. At least now if the truck comes to the neighborhood, our teenagers have their own money to spend if they choose to.

Is there any lies you have told kids in order to humor yourself, save money or perhaps your sanity? Let me know in the comments.

My Habits Are Becoming My Wife’s

I have often talked about how much I love to nap. It’s one of the joys of adulthood that a person eventually discovers.

My wife accepted that I love to nap long ago. Sure, I tend to use the excuse that I work shift work. But in reality I just love resting.

Last week we had some friends over to hang out in the pool. At one point, all four of us took a little shut eye while floating in the pool. I thought it was amazing. It was calm and zen like as we floated around- they had entered my world of peace and tranquillity. Guess what? They wanted to come back again. Guess what this afternoon will entail?

Moving on…

I had permission to share this.

My wife has had the occasional nap now. Not nearly as often as I do, but it has happened periodically. The biggest thing I have noticed is when I come home from a night shift, she has burrito’d herself in the blankets. Yeah, I can still crawl into my side of the bed- she leaves me room which is nice. But to get some blanket? Aw man. Unwrapping my little sleeping burrito is a challenge.

Meme from the internet.

She is so comfortable looking that I try and disturb her as little as possible. Sometimes I’ll go sleep elsewhere. Other times I’ll sneak in on her side and take the smallest amount is space possible on the king size bed- just in order to get a bit of blanket. She is often in a deep sleep when I arrive home lately that I don’t think she notices me.

How much do you like to rest and/or nap? Do you find it refreshing like I do?

Not Mine

Today a found a jewelry ring and some random piece of plastic in my car. Rather unusual considering I did a deep clean vacuum about two weeks ago. Naturally I had to find out where this stuff came from. Time for family group text.

You’d think that eventually kids would stop saying “not mine” when asked about something. Nope. Even at aged 16 and 18 they say it. I’d like to pretend like I didn’t know where that response came from. But alas- my wife also said it.

Now I don’t really care about the ring. Someone lost it in my car. Oh well. I just find the observation of the reactions to be interesting. Perhaps I missed it when I cleaned out my car. But realistically it was one of the kids at some point. Whether it’s their’s or not- could have been a friends ring- I tend to keep a very tidy car and have since given it to our 18 year old. They can have it now and try to find the rightful owner. Or keep it for themselves.

That’s because this ring is NOT MINE.

Towel Day and 45 Years of Star Wars

What a day to be a sci-fi nerd. I was so excited about this day I began writing this blog a year prior. But then I hit a writer’s block and that was the only sentence I wrote all year. Or I just procrastinated. Either way, I fished writing it today.

As many folks know by now, I love Star Wars. It has been around for 45 years as of today. I could go on and on about this science fiction fantasy universe, but I won’t do that today. I already celebrated May 4th.

More importantly- Today is Towel Day! This one is really significant to me. Our oldest received their name from book five of the trilogy. In my opinion- Random is one of the greatest names in this day and age. Random can choose a new name at random and no one would question it. Random can do random things and again, kind of difficult to question. But most of all, Random has suited their name since my wife first agreed to the name a little over 20 years ago.

21 years ago, Douglas Adams passed away at age 49. He was the author of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Or H2G2. A comedic series of books about the absurdity of the universe. I had recently re-read the novels when he passed. A short time later, the universe clobbered me with a 2×4 and was about to make me a father for the first time. Naturally, I wanted the universe to know that I was game and ready to play along. Random would become the greatest gift and biggest hurdle for my life. Which has brought me to this bit of wisdom:

As significant as today is, and how nerdy it is, one must always be prepared for adventure- so remember to bring a towel. It may just save your life!

Or perhaps just use a clean towel to dry off. That’s important too.

Fall Down, Go Boom

On Saturday evening, I fell over and hit my head pretty hard on the cement of our garage floor. Besides a bruised ego, it feels as though I have strained some muscles in my neck and shoulder. All day yesterday my left thumb was also tingling with pins and needles.

My coworker reminded me “Pictures or it didn’t happen” and asked if anyone videotaped it. In my brilliant forethought- I had a camera in the garage. Not specifically to see this mind you, but there it was, at around 5pm.

Anyways, a tall guy like me falling over is not a normal thing to occur. Lucky for me in this day and age, there is camera footage. Oh boy do I look stupid. Watching it play back, I am embarrassed for past me and the fall that occurred.

My son was in the kitchen and heard the ruckus. He was nice enough to come and check on me. Again, the situation was embarrassing and completely preventable. My equilibrium was off due to a mix of swimming and drinking in the hot sun. Not a very grownup thing to do.

I am not ready to share the footage, give me a week or two when the Emotional Damage dissipates. Then I can share with friends.

Kids In The Hall

Back in high school, I was a huge fan of “The Kids in the Hall”. Yup, I was watching them when they first aired back in the early 90’s. The skits were very creative and totally out there. I even plagiarized some of the comedy in order to survive English class. My teacher at the time said I was “morbid” and “syndical” as well as “macabre”. Kind of like life if you ask me some days.

1996 rolled around and I was a couple of years out of school by then. “The Kids in the Hall” made the film- “Brain Candy.” I may or may not have been experimenting with psychedelics at this time in my life. But I did enjoy the film and the commentary on drug usage in North America at the time. Periodically I still put on the soundtrack because it was gosh darn good.

Around the same time, I went and saw “The Kids” perform a live show in Vancouver. Okay, maybe it was in the year 2000 that they toured. My life was a blur back then. I wasn’t ready to settle down… and life was still just a thing to live periodically. I knew one day that I’d be done monkeying about. Little did I know that was the year that my life would change.

22 years later and “The Kids in the Hall” banded back together for an appearance on Amazon Prime. Eight episodes to watch, and the first one had full frontal male nudity. Like the kind of nudity that was of men far older than I. Awkward nudity. Humorous nudity. Because- why the heck not? An added bonus- there is a contest they created called “paint Bellini” and naturally I entered. Wouldn’t that be a riot? Win the contest of a show that impacted my life all of those times way back when?

Anyhow, go watch the show on Amazon Prime. It’s Canadiana at its finest. Or don’t. I’m not your boss. But if you do- expect some new skits and a few classic characters to make an appearance.

Long live KITH. And did I mention, in high school- my friends and I tried to get our own comedy sketch show off the ground? Called “Slow Children Playing.” I tried a few times to get in going. Yet no one had the commitment to do it. Now it’s more “Middle Age Memes”. Or essentially “The Kids In The Hall.” So go watch it. Or don’t. No big deal to me.

April Is Ending

What a peculiar month April was. Teasing of spring; a smattering of winter- all to remind us of how crazy Mother Nature is. And of course today is meme filled with…

As humorous as this joke was Ten years ago when it was first introduced to the internet, perhaps it’s time to retire the meme. It’s used as much as Cher’s “Turn Back Time” every year. I love a good meme, but sometimes oversharing can kill the joke. With May on the cusp- I am looking forward to nicer weather and wearing less layers

I really do love May and I am excited to overshare Star Wars Memes and phrases next week. So I really shouldn’t complain about memes that need to retire. Especially in four days time because I will be saying…

Quebec Has My Wife And Son

My wife and son have arrived safely in Quebec. They have a couple of days to explore before the speed skating competition. So that’s what they did.

Throughout the day my wife sent me random photos. None were really the type that people share while on a vacation or trip. More just things that she found interesting or humorous- and sent them to send me.

I am a little unsure as to why she shared a picture of kale dumped on the side of the road. Or why she felt it necessary to send a picture of snow the height of a car. In fact, when she sent that to me, as I am here in Vancouver, it began to snow shortly after I received the text. We can all blame her for the snow arriving here! Sorry friends on behalf of my wife.

However, amongst the random pictures of things, she did send me a smiling selfie of the two of them. There was also the obligatory poutine meal picture. So I know they are happy and well fed on this trip. Hopefully she will share some other pictures of more interesting adventures and I can pass them on to everyone else.

Phone Contacts

I added a new number recently into my cellphone. I think it means I have entered the next stage in my life. If I ever put it as a “Favorite” then I’ll be reaching the final few years of my life.

Yeah. I added a pharmacy phone number into my phone. I have gotten prescriptions elsewhere. Previously, if I ever needed a refill I would just look on my bottle or inhaler and call the pharmacy. Easy-peasy. Except the last time.

Maybe I’m getting old, or maybe I just wasn’t focusing. But I had a tough time reading the label on my inhaler. The writing was too damn small! I tried to use my phone and take a picture so I could zoom in. That got me most of the number. But I didn’t want to hazard a guess. I ended up looking up the pharmacy phone number online. After I called in the refill- I stored the phone number into my phone.

No more trying to squint or take pictures for this old man. I don’t think I need glasses quite yet. But I do think I may need to set my phone to a larger font… ah the joys of creating my mid-forties.

Dog Nap

After a long day of pressure washing the driveway, I wanted to take a nap. It seems though our dog had different ideas. And my wife found it humorous as well.

With what little space there was between me and the back of the couch, Maki squeezed herself in. My wife thought it humorous to take a photo. After a bit my tried to call the dog off the couch.

Wouldn’t you know it, the dog climbed onto the back of the couch and began to wag her tail. Slapping me in the face repeatedly with excitement as my wife pet her. Soon after my wife left, but the dog was riled up and refused to leave me alone.

That was my cue to get off the couch. So I went to the bedroom and took my nap in peace. The dog was like a toddler unable to leave me alone. As much as I appreciated the love and affection-

I just needed a nap.

Josef by Urban Dictionary

Ever try looking up your name on the internet? It’s dubbed “Egosurfing”. Oftentimes you can find old information about yourself as well as other people with similar names. I do it every year or so out of curiosity. Today I did it because of a Facebook memory from twelve years ago.

My status was about looking up my name on Urban Dictionary and finding this:

a pagan way of spelling Joseph. Usually scandinavian, german or russian

also the most awesome, coolest, godlike person ever

i saw josef the other day
did you?
lightning strikes him
you didnt bow down before saying my name BITCHES!!
die you stupid shauna heads!!

I hit up Urban Dictionary once more to see if it was still the same. There were many more fun ones added. Like this one:

Someone who is captivating and creative spirit. Knows how to use words into having people give him what he wants. Has a dark mind but soft heart. Usually has poor decision making. Someone who is very sensitive and needs a lot of love. Someone who you’re drawn to for life for reasons you don’t know. They might come into your mind from time to time and hard to forget. They are fun to be around and terrible singers (when making fun of a song). They are tatooed of their favorite bands and logos. Writing and music is an extreme passion for them. They like rap music and are freaksof nature if you let them. They like to stay up late and party at rock concerts. They are always looking for happiness but always seem to be stuck on one person.

Using Urban Dictionary means jokes about penis size (good and bad) also some mean spirited definitions aimed directly at specific people. (Not me of course, right?) Inside jokes.

I do forget how fun Urban Dictionary once was. I still use it when trying to figure out latest trends and terms. Yeah, that’s my old man way of being hip with the lingo. Of the younger generations.

Just remember this important aspect about Josef:

Keeping Ahead Of The Youth

My children are often surprised that I am well engaged in what is going on in the world. I don’t mean current events per se. But rather the latest social media trends.

Since my knowledge of the internet started long before our children were born, I have learned, watched and participated in growing and learning with the information super highway. Even before the internet we had “shareware”. A floppy disk with pirated software shared amongst friends. Now I can find almost anything I want at all online. As well, anyone can have a moment of fame. And there is no rhyme or reason for how that works.

It’s all about ME in Social MEdia

As for social media and sharing trends, I have created accounts in almost everything that has come along. Some last only a brief second- Google+ for example. While other apps just don’t excite or interest me, such as Snapchat or Reddit. That’s just personal taste.

🟩⬛⬛⬛⬛
🟩🟩⬛⬛⬛
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 This game. Ugh.

I have found that since I am ahead of my teenagers in the trends, they will often share with me a love of the goofiness that we find on the various applications. We get to bond over random humors. I’ll continue to stay engaged in what goes on in the world and any trends that pique my interest. Currently looking at you WORDLE. For a game that takes a couple of minutes, I’m definitely competitive in trying to solve it in as few turns as possible.

For me, social media is a part of life and community. I’m glad that it all still makes sense to my mid-forties brain.

Comic Strip Orange Cats

Back in the 80’s and early 90’s, I had a book collection of comic strips. It started with the original fat cat- Garfield. This was a good way to get me into reading at a young age.

All through elementary school I obsessed about Garfield. I had all the books that had come out at the time. I also had a dozen or so bookmarks and numerous t-shirts with the cat and some sort of catchphrase on them. Before Garfield had a regular tv show, there was a Halloween special that I had recorded off the tv and watched numerous times, memorizing every word.

Then came a new obsession- Calvin and Hobbes. Some of the greatest adventures and imaginative storytelling ever. Again I bought the books which were filled with a collection of comic strips and Saturday funnies. The relatability of the characters and their escapades were unrivaled to any other comics at the time. At one point in my life, I could relate to the father!

As I grew up, my humor changed and I started to see more of the real world portrayed in the daily newspaper comics. Bloom County had some great satire with slapstick tossed in. Bill the Cat was ridiculous and fun. My binders in high school were filled with doodles of Bill and his infamous THBBFT.

Eventually, my comic strip books were given away. But when I married my wife, her collection of the same Calvin and Hobbes books brought me a renewed joy. I knew I met the right woman for me. I re-read the books at a time when our kids were little and their imaginations were running wild. It helped in my parenting by remembering that fun is an important learning tool.

Thank you to the artists out there who made these comic strip cats a big part of my life.

I Forget Birthdays

I am the worst. As much as I support friends and family, I forget important aspects. The biggest selfish thing I do? I forget birthdays. Recently I forgot my mother’s and my niece’s.

I’m almost always late in wishing people a Happy Birthday. That’s the reason that my Facebook status on January 1st is the same every year.

So yeah, I feel kinda bad for not addressing people’s birthdays on their day. Unless you remind me or invite me out for a party- I generally only remember my wife’s and our kid’s birthdays. And one friend. Only because his birthday is ten days after mine.

So don’t feel bad that I don’t wish you a Happy Birthday until it’s after the fact. But if you’re out there making a difference in your life- be sure I’ll remember that and keep cheering you on!

Is It Funny or Is It Mean?

Humor can be tricky to produce. Getting a laugh at someone’s expense isn’t always the nicest thing to do. My personal opinion is that if you can dish it, you best be able to take it. But always read the room first.

I am notorious for the quick witted burn or jab. Usually only done to close friends who equally get me back. You tease the ones you love the most. As adults, many of us have grown thick skin and know when one another are joking around.

Teaching my kids about humor on the other hand has had it’s fair share of turns for the worse. There are some days when one joke can be funny, but tell a similar insult the next day and it can turn into death stares and “Dad, You Suck.” Plus there are times when what they say just isn’t funny. It’s just mean for the sake of being mean.

For the most part when that happens, we talk about why it isn’t funny. That fine line of humor and cruelty gets explored. I also try and get them to tell me if what I say is too much. Boundaries in humor are definitely needed. Otherwise a person could sound like a bigot, sexist, bully or even an asshole.

All of that aside, humor makes the world a better place. Being able to laugh at oneself is also good. But be nice-ish…

Still Having Date Nights

My wife and I have been together for nearly 22 years. I still love her dearly. One of our biggest strengths is that we communicate with one another. It’s not always easy to talk about concerns or tough days, but we do our best. My favorite thing is that we can still have fun together.

We still attend our favorite sushi place regularly- Nikko Sushi. They treat us like family and we always have a great meal there. I enjoy being silly with my wife and we continue to make each other smile and laugh.

She drags me out for walks around the neighborhood still. I have realized that even though I may not want to go, it is good for the mental health. As well, I know it makes her happy to go out and talk with me while we wander. I have been considering our walks as “dates” these days. It gets me out more often to spend quality time with her.

We also have “dates” where the two of us play video games together. Somehow after two decades, we still act young and silly… And I love it. We will continue to have dates for years to come. Perhaps one day we will be an elderly couple talking smack talk at one another while playing some VR with teenage looking avatars.

Forgetting Food

Planning when to eat during a night shift is tough. I know some people who choose to fast the entire night. Others eating junk food all night. Usually I like to have leftover dinners before midnight and later on a breakfast type of snack to get me through the last few hours before I go to bed. Sometimes it’s a granola bar, other times it’s oatmeal, and on a rare occasion it’s a Pop Tart.

Towards the end of my night shift today, I ate a sandwich that I had brought with me. Everyday for the last two weeks at work I have brought a peanut butter sandwich. I took a bite of my sandwich this morning and immediately my brain went haywire.

What the hell is wrong with this sandwich? It doesn’t taste like peanut butter at all. Yeah, that’s because I made myself a salami and cheese sandwich with mayo and mustard instead. I had completely forgotten that I had changed it up.

Not sure if I’m getting forgetful as I get older or I just exhausted at the end of a night shift. But man, did I ever feel stupid. Good thing no one knows what goes on in my head. But let me tell you- my tastebuds were expecting one thing and got totally Rick Rolled with another. A complete mental shock. A bit unsettling as well.

Anyhow, I vow to make myself a peanut butter sandwich for tonight.

I Don’t Remember This…

Every day or so I like to look at my Facebook Memories. That’s because I haven’t posted on there very often in the last few years. Mostly my Instagram shares go on Facebook as well. I don’t tend to add Status updates anymore. Which leads me to something very odd. A memory that I don’t remember happening or why it happened.

The first memory from seven years ago isn’t a big deal. At the start of January- BC property assessments are released. I’m always interested in seeing what our home value is as well as the neighboring properties. This year ours is the highest on the street. which is good and bad. We will have to pay full taxes with no discount this July.

But it was the next two statuses that I have no recollection of. SURGERY ON MY GUMS? What was that about? I had my wisdom teeth pulled out prior to Facebook even being created. So it wasn’t that. I still have all my teeth and have never had a root canal. My wife and kids don’t have any idea either.

Seriously though? What did I get done to my jaw? Why is it I was able to complain on social media, yet I have no idea what it was that happened? The comments are from my friends just poking fun at me. I am at a complete loss.

The on way to resolve my confusion is to ask my dentist on my next visit about the work I had done. But if I do that, my embarrassment level will be too high and I’ll need to find a new dentist. I don’t want to do that, I like our dentist.

So perhaps this “memory” shall remain a mystery to me.

Is This The Real Life…

What if this life we are living isn’t real?

If you found out it wasn’t real, would that make it any less worth living? Or maybe you’re like me and want to walk that fine line of questioning reality and adhering to the rules.

Normally these thoughts enter my mind every September. Don’t ask me why. I think that’s just when the server gets rebooted. Or that reality gets shifted two inches to the right.

In all seriousness, I love the idea of VR. In fact, we have had the Oculus Quest 2 in our home for two years now. With The Metaverse starting to take shape, I think it’s an exciting time to be alive. Over the past couple of years we have all been more exposed to Zoom meetings and video conferences. Strapping on a headset is the next step. The current visuals alone are compelling and immersive. Soon there is going to be Haptic Gloves coming out. That will really change the usage of the Virtual and Augmented reality.

In the not too distant future, we may become fully immersed in a haptic body suit or some sort of chamber. We will begin to occupy a new level of interaction with one another. I do wonder if one day we will be so interconnected that we lose sight of reality.

Perhaps we already have. Maybe we are reliving aspects of humanity we once romanticized- the dawning age of computers. Or maybe we are an alien race playing a life simulator. Could it also be we are just a computer program that became sentient?

I have no idea about any of this. But it sure is fun to imagine that it could be the reality. And if the life we are currently experiencing isn’t real- at least it’s been a crazy adventure.