I Wanna Know What You’re Thinking

There are some things you can’t hide.

I wanna know

What you’re feeling.

Tell me what’s on your mind.

Information Society.

Inside of my mind is a plethora of thoughts.  Thoughts I have shared daily for many days now. According to my stats- 595 days of blogging. I’m almost at 8000 visitors and 12,000 views.  I’ve also had readership from 80 different countries.  To me- these are some of the nicest numbers I have seen in my life.

The biggest take away from writing daily is the kindness people bring forward. Unlike social media, there is less negativity in this aspect of my world. It brings joy to my heart. Any comments or notes written to me about my posts are encouraging. It keeps me excited about writing.

Sharing my version of art gives me more purpose. It drives me to be a better writer and a kinder person. Inside of my mind is an entire world to explore. Sharing my tales are a way for family, friends and strangers to peer through the window of my soul and see something unique.

I encourage everyone to express themselves in an artistic manner. It can be hard to put yourself out there. Getting over the fear of rejection is a tough hurdle. 

Back to my title of today’s piece: I wanna know what you’re thinking.

Please share your works of art more.  Be it writing, drawing, singing, dancing, photography, or any other number of things- please share it.  The world needs more art.  More expression.  More beauty. More kindness.  We all have it inside of us.  Let’s make this planet a great place to live on.

Share. You may be as surprised as I am at how many people you can reach in the end.

That Wasn’t Good.

So last Friday I wasn’t feeling great and took a day in bed.  Reflecting back on it, I had a day of depression.  Me.  A man who is always chill.  The guy who is ready to be nice to everyone.  The dude who abides.  

I had a bad day.

My bad day began the day before.  It really shouldn’t have, but it did.  I started my days off by taking a nap post night shift.  I was supposed to meet some friends and a coworker for a beer later on Thursday evening.  However, my coworker was called into work and my friends had forgotten/ or had difficulty making it out due to weather.  I struggled on and went out for a beer by myself.  Talk about taking one for the team.

Having a beer by myself wasn’t a big deal.  I made a plan and I stuck to it.  However, as I was out, I got really irritated by a few women that were at the brew house.  It wasn’t their fault.  They just spoke really mean about the people they knew and did it in a loud voice.  *Lucky* for me I was sitting at the table next to them minding my own business- but eavesdropping on them without much choice.  It made me sad that all they wanted to do was complain and share hatred about their lives.

After only having a couple beers while I was out I decided it was time to go home.  At home, I ended up drinking another beer and calling it a night.  But the thoughts of how mean these ladies were talking about their “friends” stuck with me as I fell asleep.  That third beer made me bitter.

I woke up the following day feeling like crap emotionally.  So I stayed in bed and proceeded to sleep off and on throughout the day.  But the bitter pit stayed in me.  It took me the entire day to shake it off.

People can have a profound effect on one another.  Knowingly or unknowingly. I don’t know why I felt so bad after hearing these strangers talk.  But I did.

Drowning out the negative is difficult to do.  Moving forward I will continue to try and remain positive- both in how I live and act.  Perhaps my little bit of positivity can make the world a better place.  

Maybe I don’t like you.

Yesterday I went to work.  (Like I do most days that I’m required to if I want a paycheck.)  For the most part, I really like the job and the people I work with.  During my shift yesterday a coworker said I do a pretty good job and asked me if I like my job on a scale of one to ten.  Ten being “Best Dream Job Ever” and one being “I wake up everyday wanting to shoot myself in the face.”  After some thought, I said I’d put my job at a 6.5-7 on most days.  

However… Occasionally there is someone I work with whom I just can’t stand.  There are only a select few actually.  Not bad considering there are a few hundred people that I deal with regularly including customers, supervisors, and people in other departments.  Working in an industry that has varied shifts and on-call workers is a blessing some days.  This means oftentimes I won’t be stuck dealing with those that I don’t like.

Back to yesterday- because it was the most recent situation.  I showed up to work to get the turnover from the fellow before me.  I trained him last year and he’s really good at his job (patting myself on the back here!).  He tells me that he is always thinking throughout his shift “What Would Josef Do?”  He always has the start of my shift set up for success.  When I turnover to the next Yardmaster, I do my best to leave them in good shape as well.  You never want to be “That Guy” who sucks at their job.  Trust me.  Those people get their names scrawled on bathroom walls… because hey, we are grown ups here.

Sometimes I think I need to keep my opinion to myself about which coworkers I like and don’t like.  But that can be difficult when you just need to get it off your chest.  I was talking with my fellow Yardmaster yesterday as he was finishing his shift and I was about to begin, I let it slip, nay outright mentioned, a coworker that I hated working with.  He laughed and said to me that that person earlier in the day mentioned how much they enjoy working with me.  Dammit-all-to-heck.  

I am usually overly kind to the people I can’t stand.  I knew I did this.  My wife has pointed it out to me as well.   It’s a fault I have.  Unfortunately it means that they think I enjoy their company.  

Trust me, if I liked you and wanted to be your friend, I’d treat you like shit.  Ask any of my close friends how nice I really am.