Daily Fears and Bigger Fears

The other night, on the car ride to picking up dinner, my daughter and I were talking. And she was getting snippy towards me. After some discussion in our short drive, I found out the problem. My 13 year old daughter was scared to buy a pizza.

I had asked her to come with me in order to buy the pizzas. She explained how she didn’t want to talk to the cashier. She was unsure of money interactions. She was straight up stressed out by something that everyone does on a daily basis. She began to show signs of anxiety.

Interactions like this between strangers shouldn’t be difficult. Our daughter has done purchases and sales at numerous conventions over the years- so it surprised me when she told me she was anxious that night. It never dawned on me that this was different. So we rehearsed what she needed to say, how much the pizza would be, and how much change should would get in return.

To ease her mind a bit, I explained that I’m also scared. I am absolutely terrified of going to Tokyo next month. I’ve never been to Tokyo. I’m not going alone either, but taking my wife and three kids. Not only am I going to be in a foreign country- no one I’m going with understands Japanese. Plus I will need to keep a close watch on the kids. Make sure they are staying nearby while we use the trains and travel the streets.

In the end, my daughter did fine buying a pizza. I was with her, but stayed off to the side. I didn’t interject, help or correct her in any way. Afterwards she admitted that it was easy. A little more practice and she won’t need to rehearse her interactions ahead of time. Hopefully she can overcome moments of anxiety on her own.

She enjoyed her pizza with a sense of relief. Although buying pizzas for larger groups is a pain and requires note taking and spreadsheets at the best of times. Just don’t tell her that yet. We need to work on baby steps.

Bending Will

The difficulty with life is that we try and make people act or think in a way that we ourselves want them to. We each have ideals and values that bring out our emotions, so we often try and get others to experience it as well.  Even with my blog posts- I am trying to get people to think or feel something more.


It’s a fine line we all walk as well.  Trying to encourage or intimidate people to bend to our will- oftentimes not realizing the effect it has on one another.  Sometimes we don’t realize that we’ve done it either. Simply put it can happen like this:

  1. Ask a question of someone
  2. Not get the answer you wanted
  3. Expression on your face changes
  4. Other person’s feelings change in reaction
  5. Now everyone has a different outlook

It could go both ways as well.  Good or bad. Maybe the answer surprises you and you both feel happy. Maybe the answer upsets you and now you both feel resentful.


All of this is just my observation.  Maybe I’ve made it so you’ll be conscious of it next time it occurs.  Most likely we will go on living how we do and interacting the same.

I Believe In A Thing Called Love.

Hate spews hate.  That’s why I choose to be kind to people whenever possible.  I don’t need to have everyone like me but I also don’t go out of my way to make people hate me. Usually.


I find that many people’s beliefs prevent them from truly sharing love and kindness. It’s a big reason that I’m an atheist. I want to live in a world where everyone is be able to express their feelings or opinions without reprisal.  I may not believe in a god but I do believe in the good inside of people. Being accepting of how different we all are is a great attribute that many people lack.  Often hiding behind religion or even racism to explain their behavior.

I try and accept people as decent humans. Showing some random kindness is my way of sharing my beliefs: Be kind to others.It’s that easy.  Or as Wil Wheaton says: Don’t be a dick.