I always have an emotionally rough go from the end of September until the end of November. These months are the time I think of my father the most. This year specifically, since September 19th, I have been trying my best to find the good in the memories of my father. I know he wasn’t a bad person. I just felt wasn’t the dad I wanted or needed growing up.
Besides the occasional photo I have of my father, I don’t have much to remember him by. I kept a couple of golf clubs, some tools, a hat and an ashtray. I was given his wedding ring and his ruby ring when he passed away. So I have been wearing them around my neck for the past couple of weeks.
I always remember him wearing these rings on his ring finger. They never came off. That is something I have taken to in my life as well. My wedding ring has been on my finger since 2001. I have not taken it off for longer than a few minutes at a time. Mostly to clean it or check it’s shape.
Wearing them around my neck, I have held them periodically in my hand. I’m not quite sure what I’m looking for by having them. But I as I said, I am trying to focus on more positive thoughts. Perhaps there is a mystical power of the ruby or even the gold that I am trying to conjure.
I know that when I think of the ruby and gold, it reminds me of the bohemian glasses my grandfather brought from Czechoslovakia back in the 80’s for my father. Those are the only glasses I wish to have in my possession one day. Currently those are with my mother. I hope that she will gift them to me at some point. As I mentioned, I don’t have much from my father.
But his rings are important to me. This is the longest I have worn them and I really want to discovery the positivity of their symbolism.